


Ghosts and Stones

by SmallButSpicy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Cute, Editor Akaashi Keiji, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, High School, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Pining, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Sex Talk, Silly, Spoilers, University, Years Later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:29:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallButSpicy/pseuds/SmallButSpicy
Summary: There are some things in life that are so precious, you do not want to risk losing them. For Bokuto, this included his friendship with Akaashi. (Updated summary)Contains spoilers for the manga (up to ch 387). Chapters vary in size and type of content. All other characters besides Akaashi and Bokuto are fairly minor. A bit cheesy. These were drabbles that essentially turned into a fic.(On hiatus due to a family emergency)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Original Male Character(s), Bokuto Koutarou/Original Female Character(s), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 32
Kudos: 92





	1. Phone Calls

**Author's Note:**

> A few things:  
> \- Fic contains spoilers for UP TO CHAPTER 387 of the manga, in case you didn't see this earlier.  
> \- Since this was originally supposed to be a set of quick drabbles to break my writer’s block, I did NO research regarding how volleyball leagues work in Japan.  
> \- In Japanese, the team’s name is MSBY Black Jackal. In English, it’s MSBY Black Jackals. I went with the English version. Also - definitely assuming this team is based out of Tokyo, because fuck it.
> 
> Not all chapters are based around phone calls.

_“Hello?”_

“Hello, ma’am! Is Keiji home?” Bokuto asked, nervous but polite. “We’re in the volleyball club together! I just have a quick question for him if that’s okay?”

 _“Oh, yes, just one moment.”_ There was an audible clack as she placed the phone on the table.

Some time later, Akaashi picked up the phone and answered, _“hello?”_

“Hey, hey, hey, ‘Kaashi!” Bokuto beamed.

 _“Oh, hello, Bokuto-san,”_ he sounded surprised. _“And it’s A-kaashi.”_

“Sorry, Akaashi!” Bokuto twirled the landline cord on his finger nervously, “uh, hey! Did you know snails have teeth?!”

_“I didn’t know that. That’s...kind of unnerving.”_

“Isn’t it creepy?! They can bite!”

 _“Yeah, it’s weird.”_ There was a pause in the conversation. _“So...did you...need something?”_

“Yeah, umm,” Bokuto fiddled with the landline cord, which had become tangled due to all the twirling, “do you happen to be free this weekend? I could use a volleyball buddy! I know it’s a lot to ask since it’s the weekend and you’re probably busy, but you’re the first person I thought about asking! I totally get it if you don’t want to.”

_“I’m free this weekend. I’d like to practice with you.”_

“Yuss!” Bokuto raised his free arm excitedly, almost pulling the cord off the phone, “that would be awesome!”

* * *

_“Hello, Bokuto-san.”_

“Hey, hey, hey, ‘Kaashi!” Bokuto greeted him excitedly. “Did you know echidnas have four penises?”

_“That...must be really weird to see in real life.”_

Bokuto laughed.

_“Did you call for a particular reason?”_

“No...Well, yes.” He smiled sheepishly, “I just wanted to say hi.”

 _“Oh.”_ There was a brief pause. _“Hi.”_

“Are you having a nice time with your grandparents?” He added, suddenly feeling self-conscious for having called. “I hope I’m not interrupting you!”

 _“No, it’s fine, I’d like to chat.”_ Akaashi paused and lowered his voice, _“it’s nice to see them, but two weeks is a long time to spend in the middle of nowhere. Also, there’s no one to practice volleyball with. I’ve gotten pretty good at chess though.”_

Bokuto laughed, loud as always. “Well, you can practice volleyball with me when you come back! I’ll whip you back into shape in no time!”

Akaashi’s smile could be heard over the phone, _“thank you, I would appreciate a refresher before break ends and we resume club activities.”_

* * *

_“Hello, Bokuto-san.”_

“Hey, hey, hey, ‘Kaashi!” Bokuto greeted him cheerfully. “Kuroo and Kenma are coming over this weekend to play videogames, wanna come too?”

_“I get motion sickness from playing video games.”_

“Oh,” Bokuto could not help but sound crestfallen, “that sounds awful.”

_“I can still hang out with you while you play, if it doesn’t bother you?”_

“Yes!” Bokuto cheered up immediately. “I’ll let them know you’re coming!”

 _“Okay.”_ Akaashi paused for a moment. _“So...what happened to the animal facts?”_

“Oh yeah,” Bokuto laughed nervously, “a classmate told me that most people probably didn’t care and did not want to hear me blabber on and on about that.”

 _“Bokuto-san, please continue telling me animal facts.”_ Akaashi said, his voice as impassive as always. _“I like them. I like to hear you talk about that. I think it’s interesting.”_

Bokuto brightened up, “really? You sure?”

_“Yeah. Tell me one right now.”_

Bokuto thought about it for a second. “Oh! Did you know Australia once had a war against emus?”

_“That one’s not real.”_

“It is! I wouldn’t lie to you. You can look it up!”

_“...So who won?”_

“Not even lying - the emus.”

Bokuto’s chest fluttered when he heard Akaashi chuckling on the other side of the line.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head, it is a fact that Bokuto likes watching animal documentaries.


	2. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update! Can you tell my job was affected by COVID-19?
> 
> For clarity's sake - the chapters take place with plenty of time in between them *unless otherwise stated.* Like, weeks or months. Ditto for the time passing in between phone calls.

Akaashi glanced around Bokuto’s bedroom, genuinely impressed. “Your room is tidy today, Bokuto-san.” 

“Isn’t it?” Bokuto beamed proudly. “Last time you came over, you said that having a clean room might help me concentrate! So I made sure to clean it up!” He took off his backpack and set it at the foot of his bed.

Akaashi did not remember saying that. Maybe he had mentioned it as a passing comment.

He was surprised Bokuto had picked up on it - and even more surprised that he had actually acted upon it. “Well, did it help?”

Bokuto nodded vehemently, looking at Akaashi with wide, intense eyes. “ _ SO _ much - it’s crazy! I’m even playing better volleyball now!” He flopped onto his bed, arms outstretched. “I feel like I could take over the world!!”

“Let’s settle for finishing our math homework first.” Akaashi said, pulling out a textbook and notebook from his own bag and setting them on the table.

It took Bokuto about fifteen minutes to settle down and actually concentrate on completing his homework. Math was Akaashi’s worst subject, and the only subject Bokuto was at risk of failing. If they were going to be miserable looking at numbers all afternoon, at least they could be miserable together. They made a pretty lousy study group, but at least they got their assignments done.

“Oh, right! Akashi, did I tell you someone confessed to me after English class today?” Bokuto mentioned in a cheerful but casual tone, interrupting the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

“Oh,” Akaashi lifted his eyes from his notebook. “...Congratulations, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto did not respond. He was either being bashful, or was concentrating too hard on the math problem in front of him.

Based on his resolute expression, it was probably the latter.

Akaashi glanced back at his notebook, then at the shapes and numbers in his textbook.

So...Bokuto had a girlfriend now.

Akaashi suddenly felt like he had forgotten all his lessons on probability and statistics.

...Was she nice? Bokuto could be sensitive sometimes - Akaashi assumed the entire school knew that by now, so she was probably okay with him being moody. He could also be a bit tone-deaf - hopefully she had a good sense of humour too.

“Who, uh...who is it?” Akaashi glanced back up at Bokuto. He was curious, but was trying hard to appear indifferent.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he had even asked - he knew none of the third years, other than those who were in the volleyball club.

“Huh? Oh - one of Yukippe’s friends,” Bokuto replied in a lighthearted manner, writing down something in his notebook.

Akaashi nodded, focusing his eyes back on the math problem in front of him.

...Was she pretty? Was she smart? She probably was both. Akaashi could not imagine himself confessing to anyone, let alone to the school’s big volleyball star. She probably had to be fairly content with herself to do that, then.

Confident.

Pretty. Smart. Confident.

“That’s nice.” Akaashi said as casually as possible.

Akaashi tried to concentrate on his homework again, but it was fruitless; none of the numbers and words in front of him made sense anymore. He put his pencil down and bit the inside of his cheek, acknowledging he probably was not going to get any more homework done until he confronted the thoughts in his head.

That was fine. He knew he tended to overthink things when he was worried. At least it was more interesting than statistics.

Akaashi wasn’t upset. He wasn’t confused. He was definitely not jealous - Akaashi was pretty sure he didn’t even like girls.

He was...surprised, maybe. It was just so…sudden?

Well. He supposed it had only been a matter of time. Bokuto was fit, and funny, and objectively good-looking. And he was a genuinely nice person. He was a catch, despite his weird hair and his general...loudness. At some point someone was gonna show an interest in him.

But...couldn’t she have confessed later?

As it was, Akaashi and Bokuto had limited time together. They had nationals coming up right before Bokuto graduated. And Bokuto was being scouted by a couple of division one volleyball teams, meaning he was probably going to play professionally if he got offered a contract. Next year he’d be really busy with practice, and Akaashi would be crazy busy with school, club activities, and his entry exams.

And sure, Bokuto had promised to come and visit often, but...well, now that this was happening, he’d probably want to spend that time with his new girlfriend.

He’d probably want to spend time with her before nationals too.

It felt a little bit like...like a loss. Like Akaashi was being left behind.

Ah. That was it. He felt nostalgic. Felt her presence heavily in the room. A ghost of things to come.

“I’m guessing you’ll want to cut down on practice?” Akaashi asked, mostly to interrupt his own train of thought.

Bokuto’s head snapped up immediately. “Whaaat? Why? Oh, her? I told her I wasn’t interested!”

...

Well.

Akaashi felt a bit like an idiot.

“Oh,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. “How come?”

Bokuto shrugged. “I’m busy with club activities. And I need to keep my grades up, or they won’t let me go to nationals.” He glanced upwards in a contemplative manner. “And I’m just not really into her?”

And just like that, her ghost vanished, and the air was lighter.

Akaashi hummed, feeling a quiet rush of relief spreading in his chest. He returned to his homework, and the numbers began making a little more sense again. “...Maybe when you graduate, then.”

“Eh, I don’t know.” Bokuto shrugged. “Maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clean your room when you're stressed out or sad. It'll change your life.


	3. Swans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monday update!  
> Another phone call chapter, short n' sweet like Hinata!  
> Know that Akaashi is in his last year of high school for this entire chapter, but that time has passed between each call.
> 
> I've re-read this chapter and have edited a few spelling mistakes - let me know if I missed any!

_“Hello, Bokuto-san.”_

“HEY, HEY, HEY, ‘KAASHI!” Bokuto greeted, pulling out his set of house keys from his pocket and holding his phone between his shoulder and ear. “Did you know elephants can scratch their belly with their penis?!”

_“...You sound oddly excited about that.”_

“Whaaaa - no! That’s - Akashi, that’s not why I’m excited!” Bokuto chuckled as he walked inside his home. “Guess who just signed a contract with the MSBY Black Jackals!! Division one - straight out of high school!”

 _“Wow, that’s incredible, Bokuto-san.”_ Akaashi said, happy in his own restrained, put-together kind of way. _“Congratulations, I knew you’d make it. What did your parents say?”_

“Thank you!” Beaming, Bokuto slid his shoes off and bounded upstairs to his bedroom. “Nothing yet! You’re the first person I’ve told, ‘Kaashi!! I called you as soon as I got home!”

_“Are your parents working late again?”_

“Yeah, but you’re the first person I wanted to tell anyway!!” Bokuto flopped onto his bed.

There was a pause in the conversation.

“... _You haven’t told anyone else? Not even Kuroo-san?”_

“Nope!” He grinned.

“ _Oh._ ” Akaashi paused again. _“...why?_ ”

Why?

“What do you mean why?” Bokuto frowned at his phone. “You’re my vice captain! You helped me get to where I am! What do you think I would’ve done without you?”

Akaashi hummed. _“...probably mope a lot more.”_

“Yeah, maybe, but I mean...” Bokuto tried not to sound self-conscious. He paused briefly. “...I wasn’t so bad, was I?”

_“You were the worst.”_

“Akaaaasheeee!!” Bokuto’s expression fell into one of mortified embarrassment.

_“Although I guess sometimes you were pretty cool.” Akaashi’s smile could be heard in his voice._

“Awww, ‘Kaashi, you’re gonna make me blush!!” And just like that, Bokuto brightened up again. “Hey, uh, how’s the club doing now that I’m not there to be all awesome, and...mopey and stuff?”

 _“It’s different. We have some promising first-years._ ” Akaashi snorted quietly and smiled again, _“Coach Yamiji’s been telling jokes for whatever reason. I think he’s having a hard time adjusting to practice being so...quiet and efficient.”_

Bokuto gasped, “COACH YAMI-JII!! I miss him so much!”

_“I really don’t think he likes it when you call him that.”_

“It’s our thing! He loves it!”

 _“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.”_ Akaashi replied. _“He hasn’t said anything, but I think he misses you. He tried to chest-bump Anahori last week. It was really awkward.”_

Bokuto laughed, “awww - I can’t believe I was not there to see that!” He let his laughter die naturally, then buried his face in his pillow and groaned quietly. “Man...I miss everyone so much already.”

_“It’s only been a month since you graduated.”_

“I know, but…” Bokuto trailed off, feeling gloomy all of a sudden. He groaned again quietly and sighed into his pillow.

Everything was going to be different from now on. And while he was looking forward to the future, he was also sad that such a pivotal chapter of his life was over.

The weight and significance of graduating was hitting him pretty hard. Yukie wouldn’t lend him her notes anymore. He would not be walking home with Akaashi and Sarukui after school. Coach Yamiji would not high-five Bokuto after a good serve. Bokuto would not play any more games against Nekoma or Itachiyama - and he never got a chance to beat Sakusa at nationals. There would be no more training camp antics with Kuroo, Akaashi, Hinata, and Tsukki.

Bokuto would no longer stop by the second year classrooms to spend lunch with Akaashi either. Was he going to be lonely? Who was going to power through math homework with Akaashi now that Bokuto was gone?

Well...Akaashi would not be staying after practice to run through setting and spiking drills with Bokuto anymore, so he’d probably have tons of time to focus on school now.

...Had Bokuto ever told Akaashi that he really appreciated all those extra hours spent in the volleyball gym?

Bokuto took a deep breath. He wanted this conversation to be heart-felt and _cool_. Better late than never. 

“Hey ‘Kaashi, there’s something I have to tell you.” He said with a resolute tone.

_“...Okay.”_

“Alright, uh, listen!” Bokuto cleared his throat. “Uh...so. We - you and I - we met through the volleyball club, and you were a setter, right? I mean you still are, obviously. But, umm. You, like, you were there, and I asked, and - well...” Bokuto felt his face flush with embarrassment.

He was rambling. Bokuto was fully aware that he did that when he was flustered.

 _“Take your time, Bokuto-san.”_ Akaashi was probably aware as well.

“Okay, just, uh, give me a minute.”

This conversation _had_ to be done well. It had to be inspiring. Because he appreciated Akaashi - he appreciated him the way someone appreciates, like… good coffee...or a nice haiku...or the mountains. Or something poetic like that.

Bokuto clenched and relaxed the muscles of his legs, trying to get himself to stop feeling nervous.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “The first time we met, you said you’d practice with me. And you stayed the _whole_ time - it was crazy - we did like what? Two whole extra hours straight?” Bokuto chuckled. “I thought ‘oh, for sure he’s not doing this again.’ But then the next day you asked if I wanted to practice some more. And I was happy you did, because I did want to, and you had offered, so I knew I wasn’t forcing you to. And then you did it again the day after - and it never stopped. You were always there. You never ran away. And I really appreciate that, because I know I can be difficult sometimes.”

Akaashi had stayed, unlike everyone else.

Bokuto opened his eyes.

“... _Bokuto-san, you’re being cheesy._ ”

Bokuto gasped, then scoffed. “‘Kaashi!! I’m trying to be cool!!” He ran a hand through his hair, ruining the style. “We won’t see each other in school anymore! I wanted to be a good senpai and tell you that I appreciate you and that I’m gonna miss you!”

 _“You’ll have plenty of time to mope and get nostalgic in the future.”_ Akaashi was quiet for a few seconds. _“...We’ll be busy, but we’ll still see each other. ...And we can talk on the phone.”_

“And you’ll come to my games, won’t you?!” Bokuto sat up straight, his hair sticking out in random directions messily.

 _“Of course I will.”_ Akaashi’s voice was softer than usual. _“...You know I love watching you play.”_

I love watching you play.

Huh. That had kind of felt like a _moment -_ and Bokuto knew moments very well.

He just wasn’t sure what this had been a moment _of_.

All he knew was that it had felt significant, and that there was a flutter in his chest, and that his head felt light, and that his limbs felt weak.

He gulped nervously, powered through it, and chuckled, “ah, you’re gonna make me blush, ‘Kaashi.”

There was a natural pause in the conversation.

_“Bokuto-san.”_

“Yeah?”

_“...I’m going to miss you too.”_

“AGAAAAAAASHEEE!!!”

* * *

_“...”_

“Hey, hey, hey, ‘Kaashi!”

_“...Hello, Bokuto-san.”_

“Uh...how are you?” Bokuto asked tentatively, dancing around the reason he had called.

 _“I’m alright.”_ Akaashi was not alright - Bokuto knew. His voice was off.

It was disconcerting.

Bokuto cleared his throat. “So...how is school going?”

 _“It’s fine,_ ” Akaashi replied halfheartedly. _“...Math is hard. I’m glad I asked Shirofuku-san for her notes before she left. ...How are you?”_

“Good!” Bokuto replied anxiously. “I’m - uh, the coach - he said that I, umm. I’ve been performing well so far this year, so I will probably be in the, uh,” he cleared his throat again, “in the starting lineup next year.”

 _“Oh, wow, that’s nice. You must be excited.”_ Akaashi attempted a cheerful tone.

“Yeah, hah, thank you!”

Silence, again.

Bokuto was pacing around the room, too nervous to stay still. Whenever he was anxious he always felt a strong need to do _something_ about it, to expend the energy build-up in some manner. It usually resulted in rambling or restlessness.

“Oh, I know!” Bokuto snapped his fingers. “So, uh, ‘Kaashi, did you know that swans are monogamous?”

_“I didn’t. That’s interesting.”_

“Yeah!” Bokuto smiled, bright and cheerful, ”swans are monogamous, which means they pick a partner and stay with them forever! And...and a good chunk of swans pick a same-sex partner! So, uh, there’s a bunch of gay swan couples swimming together and living happily somewhere!”

Akaashi sighed heavily. He was quiet for a few pregnant seconds before he eventually decided to speak. _“Listen, Bokuto-san, I -”_

“- I’m sorry - I know you were supposed to come out at your comfort - I didn’t mean to push you to say anything,” Bokuto bit his lip, still pacing around his hotel room. “It’s just - I heard what happened from someone at school, and I just...I wanted to see how you were doing.”

 _“...Thank you, Bokuto-san.”_ Bokuto could hear Akaashi smiling, although his voice still sounded a little sad and tired. 

“...Can we still be friends? Even though I outed you to myself? Is that how that works? You still want to talk to me, right?”

 _“Yes, of course I do.”_ Akaashi paused. _“...Do you?”_ Akaashi’s voice was doubtful. It made Bokuto’s chest feel tight.

He frowned at the phone. “Agashi!!! Are you - are you kidding?! Definitely!!”

_“...You’re sure?”_

Bokuto gaped at his phone in shock. “YES AKASHI!! You love who you love!! Sometimes people understand, sometimes people don’t! It’s love at the end of the day, and love is nice! Well, I mean, I guess sometimes it hurts, but it’s also nice!”

 _“Just...give me a second, Bokuto-san.”_ Akaashi sounded a little choked.

“Uh, okay.” Bokuto sat down on his bed, worry spreading over his chest and towards his limbs like a cold wind. “...Y’know I’m here if you need anything, right? ...Akaashi?”

Anything.

There was a heavy pause, then a sigh, shaky and delicate. _“So, uh,”_ another pause, then Akaashi clearing his throat, _“how are you? How is your girlfriend?”_

“Oh...yeah...” Bokuto chuckled nervously, “we, uh...we broke up.”

 _“Bokuto-san,”_ Akaashi sounded shocked, _“how are you? When did it happen? Are you okay? Why didn’t you say anything?”_

“I mean, I could ask you the same questions.” Bokuto replied defensively, then felt immediate regret. “...sorry. I know it’s not the same thing at all. I think I’m still a bit of a mess.”

_“It’s okay.”_

“This is the first time I’ve broken up with someone.” Bokuto continued, taking a seat at the bed. “I told her on Wednesday in the morning. She cried. That was really tough. She’s a nice person. I didn’t want to make her sad.”

_“Are you okay?”_

“Yeah.” Bokuto nodded even though Akaashi wasn’t there to see him. “She just wasn’t… umm. It wasn’t her fault, I just...wasn’t interested anymore. How do I say it? If we were swans, she wouldn’t be _my_ swan, you know?”

_“...”_

“...”

Was that...laughter?

 _“...I’m so sorry, Bokuto-san - I’m really sorry,”_ Akaashi was trying hard not to chuckle, _“I know I shouldn’t be laughing - but that was just...it was really bad.”_ Suddenly, his voice became serious, _“wait, you didn’t say that to her, did you?”_

Bokuto jumped off the bed, “what - no! Of course not! I just told her I didn’t want to waste her time and that I thought she was awesome, but that I wasn’t in, like, a spot to pursue a relationship!”

 _“Those are much better words.”_ Akaashi smiled - Bokuto could hear it over the phone. _“I’m sure you were gentle. You’re good at that kind of stuff, Bokuto-san. ...Although I’m still not sure if you are lying about not telling her the whole swan thing.”_

For the first time in three days, Bokuto laughed. “Aaaaah, Akaaaaaashi, don’t beat a man while he’s down!”

Akaashi laughed too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am of the opinion that Coach Yamiji is underappreciated. He loves his baby owls. Just look at the manga. So much love.
> 
> Just so you’re aware:  
> \- We won’t be learning the super exact details regarding what happened at school. I apologize if it seems like lazy writing to some of you, but I have left it vague on purpose.  
> \- Also, Yami-jii is not an official manga/anime nickname.


	4. Boyfriend Number One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that the school year usually starts in April in Japan!
> 
> The first section happens in Akaashi's last year of high school.
> 
> I noticed a couple of errors after re-reading the story - I tried to go back and edit them but I don't think I got them all.

Bokuto rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and wiped the sweat from his forehead. Spring was still several weeks away, but the weather today was much warmer than they had expected. And the hike to the large pond behind his grandparent’s house had always been a challenge - not that his family dog seemed to notice, she was practically walking circles around them.

Bokuto spent most of the three-hour hike listening to Kuroo talk, which struck the latter as odd. He’d never known Bokuto to be so quiet.

Eventually, they arrived at the pond Bokuto had spoken about so many times throughout high school. Although the grass was a little brown and many of the trees were fairly bare, it was still a picturesque, quiet, and peaceful location.

“Oh wow, you were not kidding,” Kuroo whistled, “this place is beautiful.”

“Told you it would be worth it to wake up earlier!” Bokuto replied, leading him towards a set of large rocks by the edge of the pond.

“Hey, don’t blame me!” Kuroo massaged the back of his neck, “I’m still sore from helping your mom move. Not that I mind - although I’m beginning to wonder if she spends her free time collecting bricks.”

Bokuto chuckled, “thank you again for driving all the way out here with us.” He dropped his backpack on the floor, pulled out a ball, and flung it towards the pond. Momo, his family dog, chased after it and jumped into the water without a care in the world.

Kuroo shook his head and smiled. “Bro, I would’ve been offended if you had not asked. You know I love your parents.”

The two of them sat down on a set of rocks a few feet away from the water and pulled out their lunch from the backpack Bokuto was carrying. Momo watched them unpack the food with interest, hoping for a scrap. After being pointedly ignored, she got bored and pranced away to sniff around the shoreline.

Kuroo watched Momo explore the surrounding area, lifting her head up occasionally to check on them. He chuckled, “well, she seems to enjoy the pond.”

Bokuto hummed in agreement, eating the food his mother had been kind enough to prepare for them.

“I can’t believe your family is moving to the country.” Kuroo commented, trying to probe and see if this was the reason Bokuto was so quiet. “I’m gonna miss your mom’s cooking.”

Bokuto swallowed his food and nodded. “Me too.”

“Are they selling the house?” Kuroo asked as he ate a piece of the assorted tempura in his bento. “Where are you going to crash when you end up involved in the unseemly scandal that will be the end of your career as a professional volleyball player?”

“On your couch.” Bokuto replied with a subdued grin. He let his eyes wander towards Momo, watching her to make sure she did not stray too far away. “Dad’s retiring in a year, then they’re selling.”

“Oh, so no more childhood home, huh.” Kuroo nodded, a teasing smile on his face. “Are you bummed out that you never got a chance to engage in awkward heavy petting with a ‘study buddy’ while your parents are downstairs making dinner? Because I know for a fact you haven’t done that yet.”

Bokuto shoved him playfully, “how would you even know?”

“You would’ve told me for sure - no way you could keep that secret from me,” Kuroo laughed. “So is this why you’re bummed? You getting nostalgic?”

“Not really,” Bokuto shrugged. “My grandparents refuse to move to Tokyo and my folks like the country.” He smiled lightly as he watched the golden retriever prance around the shoreline, “Momo will appreciate the chance to go hiking more often. And I’ll come visit whenever I can.”

Kuroo sighed heavily. “Alright then, I give up! Can you tell me why you’re so quiet today? It’s really unnerving.” He mumbled, a confused frown betraying the smile on his lips.

Momo came trotting back towards them and nosed at the ball by their feet.

Bokuto picked up the ball and threw it at the water, watching his family dog chase after it. “...I’m just thinking.”

Kuroo took a bite of an onigiri. “About…?”

“Uhh...it’s something kind of silly.” Bokuto replied bashfully, watching Momo frolic in the water while she searched for her ball.

“Come on, bro.” Kuroo encouraged with a sly grin, “it can’t be worse than the time your parents walked in on you jerking off.”

Bokuto blushed a deep shade of red. “Don’t remind me of that!!”

Kuroo laughed. “So...?”

“Umm.” Bokuto cleared his throat. “Did you...hear about ‘Kaashi?”

“Yep.” Kuroo replied with a quick nod. “We chat sometimes. He’s been pretty open about it since that douchebag outed him at school.” He glanced at Bokuto contemplatively, “...is that what this is about?"

“...I just...I don’t know.” Bokuto poked around what remained of the bento with his chopsticks. “...I wasn’t expecting it?”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t seem so bothered when I came out as bi?”

Momo dropped her ball unceremoniously at Bokuto’s feet, play-bowing and wagging her tail happily. “It’s not bothering me.” Bokuto threw the ball again. “It’s just - I never really...I don’t know, it’s dumb.”

Kuroo grinned, “tell me! You know I give fantastic advice.”

Bokuto watched Kuroo with hesitance for a moment. Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows and winked, making Bokuto laugh.

“...Ah, fuck it.” Bokuto’s laughter turned into more of a nervous, self-conscious chuckle. He leaned down to pick up Momo’s ball and threw it at the lake, trying to avoid eye-contact with Kuroo. “It’s just...I’ve, uh, been thinking about _things_...differently since I, uh, found out.”

Kuroo raised both eyebrows. “ _Oh_ ...” His expression shifted from surprise to amusement, “Bo...do you have a _crush_?”

Bokuto coughed and felt his face go bright red. It was one thing to experience those feelings towards one of his closest friends - but hearing the words said out loud made it seem like a much bigger deal.

He cleared his throat, stood up, and busied himself with stuffing the bento boxes into his backpack.

“Oh _my_ .” Kuroo stood up and stretched, a grin on his lips. “So you _do_ have a crush. And on _Akaashi_ of all people.”

“Uh - I wouldn’t - I just - I don’t think...” Bokuto fixed his eyes on the floor and continued to avoid eye contact. His face felt so hot that he was sure his cheeks looked cartoonishly flushed at this point.

Kuroo hummed in a satisfied manner, “it’s alright, man, take your time.” He leaned down to pick up a smooth, flat stone from the ground and flung it at the water in a different direction from where Momo was swimming. It skipped once on the surface before sinking with an unceremonious _‘plop’_ into the depths of the pond.

After a tense second, Bokuto leaned down to pick up a smooth stone as well. He ran his fingers over its surface and stared at it. “I mean, it’s more like...I think I’m just, like...uh... _curious_.”

Kuroo snorted. “Yeah, sure thing, bro,” he said with a sarcastic tone. “I’m honestly not really that surprised.”

Bokuto gasped and scoffed, dropping the stone. “What does that even mean?”

“You kidding, right? You always want to spend time with him, you’re always talking about him, you take his advice seriously, you actually watch videos he sends you,” Kuroo laughed, “ _and_ you look like a tomato right now.”

Momo ran back towards them, holding her ball in her mouth. Bokuto leaned down to pet her, pouting and looking stubbornly skeptical. “I really don’t think ‘crush’ is the right word.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes at Bokuto, who had just tossed the ball for Momo again. “Alright then, so what would you call whatever this is?” He motioned at Bokuto with his hand.

“Uh…” Bokuto looked up towards the cloudy sky, trying to find a word that felt just right. “...curiosity.”

Kuroo stared at him, eyebrows raised and expression unimpressed.

“...hormone-fueled curiosity?” Bokuto added.

Kuroo laughed. “I mean, I guess I can’t blame you - Akaashi’s really attractive,” he glanced at Bokuto with a teasing grin, “with his blue eyes, cute smile, slender hands, nice legs -”

“- stop it,” Bokuto rolled his eyes and blushed again - this time, he could even feel his ears go red.

“- kissable lips...” Kuroo made a smooching noise at Bokuto.

“Stoooop.” Bokuto groaned, holding his face in his hands. “I just…I don’t know what it is about ‘Kaashi, but I just can’t stop thinking about him like...like _that_.” He shivered and felt goosebumps travelling up his arms and legs.

“Oh, buddy,” Kuroo giggled, “you’ve got it bad.”

Bokuto looked at Kuroo with wide, helpless eyes. Momo returned and dropped the ball at his feet expectantly, whining when he took too long to throw it.

“Just ask him out, bro.” Kuroo said casually, returning to his task of finding a good skipping stone.

“No, no. That’s dumb. What if he says no?” Bokuto frowned. Momo ran back and dropped the ball at his feet. He picked it up and threw the ball for her again. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes again. “Really?” He threw a stone at the lake, watching it skip four times. “What is this, a romcom?”

Bokuto scoffed. “It’s a serious question! What if you were in my shoes and you had a crush on me?”

Kuroo thought about it. “Fair enough, I guess whether I would ask you out would depend on how into you I was.”

Bokuto shifted his weight on his feet anxiously. “...But what if I said no? You’re not afraid of losing my friendship?”

“Well - sure,” Kuroo replied, then shrugged, “but I don’t know if I could be friends with someone that I like while they’re dating someone else.”

Bokuto watched him dubiously, contemplating his words. “...I think it’s just curiosity.”

“Are you _sure_?” Kuroo looked at him with an amused grin.

“Yeah, yes.” Bokuto nodded vigorously. “I’ll get bored, move on, everything will be fine, and we will still be friends.”

Kuroo heaved a heavy sigh, but did not press further. “Fine, fine.” He glanced at his watch. “We better head back to your grandma’s place now.”

Bokuto called Momo and packed away her ball. “I am so tired of unpacking.”

Kuroo laughed. “C’mon ya bi-curious deviant.” He patted Bokuto on the back and pushed him away from the pond. “Let’s head back before it gets dark.”

* * *

_“And you’re eating properly, right?!”_ Bokuto’s voice boomed into Akaashi’s ear. _“You always forget to eat when you’re stressed! It’s not good for you!”_

“I’m eating well,” Akaashi answered, walking through one of the busy hallways of his university. “How are you liking your new teammate?”

_“He’s great! Tsum-Tsum’s kind of like a hedgehog - prickly on the outside, but really nice once you get to know him. And he’s a great setter, too!”_

“That’s good to hear.” Akaashi pushed a set of doors open and walked outside of the building. “Did I tell you I saw his brother? Suga-san says he’s in business school here, which explains why I don’t see him very often. But sometimes I do and he waves hello.”

_“Whaaaat, I’ll have to tell Tsumu!”_

Akaashi snorted quietly, a faint smile on his face. “Something tells me he’s probably aware.”

 _“Oh - gotta go! Break time’s over!”_ Bokuto shuffled on the other end of the line, _“you’re coming to the game right?”_

“Of course,” he replied, stopping further away from the crowd of people going in and out of the university building.

 _“Great! - and hey,”_ he hesitated, _“bring your boyfriend, I’d, uh, like to finally meet him!”_

“It’s not really that serious yet, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said, maintaining a neutral tone, “and he’s not a big volleyball fan.”

 _“What!_ ” Bokuto grumbled something about volleyball on the other end of the line. _“I don’t know when I’ll be in the area again though!”_

Akaashi looked at the clouds above, already wondering if he was going to regret his next words. “...I guess I’ll ask him, since it matters that much to you.”

 _“Thanks ‘Kaashi! I really gotta go now, the coach is giving me the evil eye! We’ll talk later! I miss you!”_ Bokuto hung up.

Akaashi smiled softly at his cell phone.

“Awww, Daichi - look at his face!”

Akaashi lifted his gaze to see Daichi and Suga walking towards him. “Hey,” he greeted them, his expression returning to one that was pleasantly neutral.

“Akaashi, you had the cutest smile just now!” Suga poked his arm teasingly, “were you talking to your new boyfriend?”

Akaashi shook his head. “I was talking with Bokuto-san.”

“Ah, of course!” Suga said knowingly.

“So, how’s Bokuto doing?” Daichi asked before Akaashi could inquire further.

“He’s got a game here in a couple of days. Do you want to come? He sent tickets. One is for my boyfriend, but we have extras.”

Daichi shook his head. “Thank you, but Suga’s parents are coming to visit.”

“Oh.” Akaashi looked at Suga with mild surprise, “do they know…?”

“Psshh - I think they knew before _we_ did!” Suga laughed. “Anyway. It sounds like we’ll be in a similar boat since you’re finally introducing your boyfriend to Bokuto-san!”

“I’m only doing it because Bokuto-san insisted.” Akaashi replied, trying to hide the tense tone of his voice. He began fidgeting with his hands - an old, restless habit that had never gone away. “We’ve only been dating for two months. I don’t know if it’s the right time to introduce them.”

“Well, won’t they meet eventually anyway?” Daichi smiled at him with sympathy, “might as well get it over with.”

“...I suppose that’s true.” Akaashi mumbled uneasily.

* * *

Akaashi’s boyfriend had spent the entire game with a very obvious pout. He had not enjoyed his time and had not been interested in the game at all. Even after the game had finished, he was still annoyed at Akaashi for an argument they’d had earlier over…what was it again? Akaashi could not remember.

It was too bad, because the game had been objectively good.

Bokuto was always busy for at least an hour after his volleyball games ended, so Akaashi usually waited for him at a nearby park or coffee shop. He would often spend this time doing homework on his laptop, browsing the internet, or going for a walk.

But today? Today Akaashi was spending his time trying to navigate an argument in the middle of a busy café at nine in the evening.

“No, I never said I didn’t like your friends - I _do_ like your friends,” his boyfriend said, a look of annoyance on his face, “I just think that you spend too much time with Sugawara-san.”

“I’ve known him since high school,” Akaashi answered with an impassive tone, “and you and I spend plenty of time together too.” 

“But _we’re_ the ones who are supposed to be dating - not you and Sugawara-san,” he replied, frustrated. “...And he’s so...pretty. And handsy.”

Akaashi raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise, “you’re jealous of Suga-san.”

His boyfriend scoffed and crossed his arms, sinking lower into his seat.

“Oh - we’ll talk about this another time - there’s Bokuto-san.” Akaashi stood up and waved at Bokuto, who had just walked into the coffee shop. 

Bokuto’s face brightened up immediately. “Hey, hey, hey, ‘Kaashi!!” He waved and bounded towards the couple.

Akaashi introduced Bokuto to his boyfriend politely. The atmosphere was still a little tense between the couple, but Akaashi did not let that put a damper in his mood. These were Bokuto’s busiest weeks of the year and Akaashi had not seen him in over a month. Akaashi did not know when he was going to see him again, so he was adamant that he was going to have a pleasant evening.

The three of them sat down to talk and catch up over decaf coffee and herbal tea. Their little date felt a little different with Akaashi’s boyfriend in the mix, but Bokuto and Akaashi were both making an effort to include him in the conversation. His boyfriend was unfortunately still in a sour mood, but at least he seemed to be making an effort to be polite.

An hour after meeting up, the three of them decided it was time to wrap things up.

“It was nice to meet you, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi’s boyfriend said politely as the three of them walked out of the café.

Bokuto grinned. “Yeah! Nice to meet you too!”

“Goodbye, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi added, half his mind wondering if they were going to continue arguing on the way back to his boyfriend’s apartment.

“Bye, ‘Kaashi.” Bokuto looked at him with drooped shoulders and despondent eyes.

“...What is it?” Akaashi asked.

Bokuto bit his lip, then looked away and groaned quietly, “we never see each other anymore - it’s always hard saying goodbye to you.”

Akaashi gave him a small, soft smile. “We’ll see each other again soon.”

Hopefully. If they could both find the time.

Bokuto brightened up and leaned in to give him a big hug. “I’m gonna miss you!”

Bokuto gave objectively great hugs - uninhibited, hearty, and enthusiastic. And he always smelled very pleasant; like that vetiver soap Akaashi was really fond of.

It made Akaashi feel like he was coming home after a long day at work.

Too bad the moment was interrupted by someone yanking at Akaashi’s arm. “Keiji!”

“Uh - sorry!” Bokuto jumped backwards immediately. He glanced at Akaashi, amber eyes wide with shock and worry, then back at Akaashi’s boyfriend. “It’s not - I really didn’t -”

“What is the matter with you and your handsy friends?!” Akaashi’s boyfriend looked at them both with bewildered eyes.

“ _Handsy_?” Akaashi repeated, trying to contain his shock.

“ _This,”_ his boyfriend began getting louder, “ _this_ is the problem! This is the guy you’re always talking to on the phone, right? You spent the entire game ogling him, you know that?”

Akaashi glanced at Bokuto, who was frozen on his spot looking extremely uncomfortable. Akaashi began fiddling with his hands again, but he tried to keep his tone even and calm, “I don’t think this -”

“ - and you were being pretty coy and cute during our little hangout just now, just like with Sugawara-san,” his boyfriend ignored him and continued arguing. “How do you expect me not to be jealous when you act like this?”

Arguments in public were incredibly uncomfortable and painful to watch - Akaashi had never in his life wanted to be caught in the middle of one. And yet, here he was, being yelled at in front of a coffee shop while other people whispered and sped past them.

Akaashi felt his heart beating hard against his chest.

“It was a _hug_ ,” he replied in a forcefully calm tone, “let’s talk about this later.”

“Well, this _hug_ was _disrespectful_ ,” Akaashi’s boyfriend barked back.

Bokuto began to apologize, “it really didn’t -”

“I’m standing right here, you big oaf,” Akaashi’s boyfriend’s voice began to break. He paused, cleared his throat, and narrowed his eyes at Bokuto, “you couldn’t even wait to be alone before you got your hands all over Keiji?”

“Uh…” Bokuto backed off even further, looking mortified. “I’m really sorry, it’s really not like that,” he raised his hands appeasingly and let his eyes alternate nervously between Akaashi and his boyfriend.

Akaashi was stunned. He had never expected that his boyfriend would yell at Bokuto - especially not in public. Yes, Akaashi was stunned, and embarrassed, and mad. But he was not the type to make a scene and they were already attracting enough attention as it was.

“I’m really sorry, Bokuto-san, but I think we are going to go now,” Akaashi said, having a hard time forcing his voice to remain impassive. “I’ll call you later.”

Akaashi and his boyfriend left Bokuto behind and walked home in a heavy and deeply uncomfortable silence.

They argued when they got to his boyfriend’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was not too painfully cliché.
> 
> Also, Momo is the best OC I have ever created.


	5. Consolation Prizes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags, summary, and amount of chapters have been updated and will continue to be updated (please let me know if I did it right - I'm still getting the hang of AO3).  
> This chapter is short and angsty.  
> There’s a note at the end regarding next week’s chapter, please read it!

Bokuto stared at the screen of his cell phone, his index finger hovering over the call button.

He sighed in defeat, locked the phone, and tossed it aside carelessly.

Yesterday evening had been one of the most uncomfortable nights of Bokuto’s life. He had never expected that it would end with an argument outside that little café.

At the moment, Bokuto found himself sitting on his grey sleeper sofa, wondering if he should call Akaashi and apologize. He glanced at his cell phone and found his own eyes staring back at him, apprehensive and guilty, over the phone’s unforgivingly reflective surface.

...He _should_ call. Right?

Bokuto looked away, massaged his neck lightly, and bounced his right knee restlessly.

...Or would it be inappropriate to call?

Bokuto stood up and paced around his small studio apartment. He could not help but feel entirely responsible for this mess. The night would’ve been a lot more pleasant if he had not asked to meet Akaashi’s boyfriend.

Maybe it was karma.

Bokuto had wanted to meet him partly out of a perfectly normal and acceptable sense of friendly responsibility. He had wanted to make sure that Akaashi was safe and happy, and that he was dating someone who valued him and treated him with respect.

And yet...

Bokuto was also fully aware that his interest in meeting Akaashi’s boyfriend had not been entirely innocent.

Before yesterday, Bokuto had been too busy to stop and think too much about it. He had not had a chance to focus on anything other than the game. With all the strategizing, meetings, interviews, daily training, and pre-game excitement, Bokuto had been way too drained to do anything other than eat and sleep.

He glanced at his phone again, pausing briefly. “...I’m an idiot,” he groaned, and resumed pacing.

The reality of the situation had not fully set-in until yesterday evening, _after_ the volleyball match had ended. At some point in between showering, throwing on casual clothing, and styling his hair, the thoughts that Bokuto had not had a chance to confront had grown bolder in his head. By the time Bokuto had left the changerooms, he’d felt dread and guilt coursing through his veins. Dread and guilt, cold and foreign, like liquid from an IV drip.

Because yes, he obviously did care about Akaashi’s well-being...but he had also realized that he had partly been motivated by intense intrigue. Intrigue over the type of guy that Akaashi was into. Without realizing, Bokuto had spent the trip to the café asking himself things like - what kind of hobbies did Akaashi’s boyfriend have? Was he the type to dress well? Was he really smart? Was he athletic? Was he talkative? Was he handsome?

And somewhere in between all those questions, there was a tiny voice also asking: _‘how do I compare to Akaashi’s boyfriend?’_

And that? That made him utterly uncomfortable, because friends did not think about those things.

He ran a hand through his hair for a second time, feeling absolutely pathetic.

...This was supposed to be _just curiosity._

Bokuto plopped himself down on the sleeper sofa with a heavy sigh. He glanced at his phone again, expression uneasy.

No, friends did not think about how they measured up against your boyfriend. Friends gave you advice, and teased you, and supported you, and cried with you, and cheered you up.

Friends called to check on you if you had just had an argument with your boyfriend outside a café.

Bokuto picked up his cell phone and dialed Akaashi’s number, his right leg bouncing restlessly again. The phone rang three times before someone answered.

_“Hello, Bokuto-san.”_

“Hey, hey, ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto greeted, attempting an upbeat tone of voice. “Uh, did you know wombat poop is naturally shaped like a cube?” He asked, beginning his phone call with a random animal fact as usual.

Routine was good. It helped ease his discomfort.

_“As in...it has angles?_ ” Akaashi asked on the other end of the line, voice somewhat subdued. _“That is really strange to imagine.”_

“Isn’t it?” Bokuto let out a strained chuckle. “You need to see a picture, it’s...it’s pretty crazy.”

They settled into a heavy silence.

Bokuto had expected to feel some kind of negative emotion towards Akaashi’s boyfriend. Maybe irritation, or resentment, or jealousy. But he didn’t feel anything against the guy.

He supposed it made sense. Bokuto had never been a jealous person anyway.

...Or maybe he currently didn’t have energy to spare on any other emotions, seeing as he had spent the past 20 hours consumed in a mixture of panic and discomfort.

“...Hey, uh, ‘Kaashi?”

Akaashi said nothing for a few seconds. _“...yeah, I’m still here.”_

_I’m sorry for being so selfish._

No, no, he couldn’t say that.

Bokuto cleared his throat. “Uh...how are you?”

“ _...I’m alright._ ” Akaashi replied simply.

He was not alright; Bokuto could always tell.

Maybe Akaashi was angry at him. It had probably been Bokuto who had messed up the entire introduction, right? Maybe he had been too attentive or affectionate towards Akaashi at the café. Maybe he had let his gaze linger a little too long.

It didn’t really matter if Bokuto’s suspicions were wrong, because he had definitely crossed a boundary with that hug at the end.

...Maybe Akaashi’s boyfriend had figured things out, just like Kuroo had at the pond all those months ago.

Bokuto bit his lip.

For a moment, he contemplated taking a step back from Akaashi. Establishing more physical boundaries, calling less often, ending conversations with ‘see you later’ instead of ‘I miss you.’

The thought of it made his heart ache a little bit.

Damn it.

“I’m sorry for yesterday,” Bokuto finally said, the words spilling out of him recklessly, “I’m sorry for being an idiot. I’m sorry for pissing off your boyfriend.”

His throat felt dry.

A glass of water would be nice. Bokuto stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

Akaashi’s silence was killing him.

For a few seconds, all he could hear was the burbling of water filling up a glass.

“ _We’re not together anymore.”_

Oh.

Bokuto closed the tap and processed the words.

Oh shit.

“You guys broke up?!” Bokuto gaped, almost dropping his phone into his kitchen sink. “Ah, fuck, I’m so sorry, I should not have given you that hug.”

_“No, please don’t say that, Bokuto-san.”_ Akaashi’s voice had an anxious edge. _“His actions were inappropriate and out of proportion - especially towards you. I’m...really embarrassed. You did not deserve to be yelled at. I’m sorry.”_

“No - ah,” Bokuto replied dumbly, panicking again, “you don’t have to say that, ‘Kaashi! Man, this is - I really messed up - it’s all my fault. I will call him and apologize right away!”

Bokuto _really_ didn’t want to do that.

In fact, talking to that guy was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

...But he didn’t want Akaashi to be sad either.

_“No, no, it’s fine, Bokuto-san,”_ Akaashi said, interrupting his train of thought. _“We were only together for two months. You can hardly call that a relationship. I’m not interested in pursuing it further.”_

Bokuto didn’t want to say it out loud, but...he was relieved.

And he felt guilty for it.

“...Are you okay, ‘Kaashi?” He asked, heading back to the sofa with a glass of water. “Are you sad? - wait, dumb question, you obviously are.”

Akaashi was quiet for a few seconds. _“Yes, a little. We had a big argument and...well, I’m not used to being yelled at like that. He has some things he needs to work on. We both do. I’m far from perfect.”_

_Far from it, and yet so much closer than you could imagine._

A feeling of agitation rippled through Bokuto’s chest, freezing his insides for a moment.

Friends definitely did not have those kinds of dumb, cheesy thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” Bokuto repeated, a little bit to himself, a little bit to Akaashi.

_“It’s not your fault, Bokuto-san, no need to apologize.”_ Akaashi replied, unaware of Bokuto’s internal struggle. _“Breaking-up was only a matter of time. I mean, he was jealous of Suga-san and I, for crying out loud.”_

The guilty feeling did not go away.

Bokuto sat down on the sofa. His knee began bouncing almost immediately. “...I wish I could be there to cheer you up.”

There was shuffling on the other line. Eventually, Akaashi spoke, his voice muffled and soft. _“Let’s talk about something else. Tell me something funny.”_

“Ah - I can do that!” Bokuto jumped off the sofa, determined to cheer Akaashi up. “Let’s see...Oh - did I ever tell you about the time Tsumu got chased by a dude dressed in a bear costume?”

“No, I think I’d remember that,” Akaashi answered, his voice already sounding lighter.

Bokuto recounted the story in an animated manner. Akaashi laughed all the way through. The sound made Bokuto’s heart feel tight and giddy, and he realized he could not lose Akaashi - he really couldn’t lose any of him.

They talked for a little while longer, said their goodbyes, and Bokuto did not avoid saying “I miss you.”

He plopped back down on the sofa after hanging up. His cell phone felt odd in his hands. Heavy. Almost like a stone.

Bokuto sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to shake off the chaotic emotions that were weighing down his shoulders.

He could not help but feel irritated at himself. He had been an idiot for insisting that this had all been simple curiosity. Kuroo had been right to doubt him all those months ago.

As of now, Bokuto had two options: tell Akaashi how he felt, possibly ruining their friendship forever; or stay quiet, be a little miserable, and remain friends.

...A little misery was fine.

Bokuto could endure it until he moved on - he was prepared to put in the work. He would focus on his career, focus on training. Maybe meet a girl - or a guy, since he apparently was into men, too. He could do all that. Keep Akaashi nearby, but at a distance.

He would hold on to the conversation they had just had. He would remember the determination in Akaashi’s voice, the sober silences they’d shared, the laughter at the end of Bokuto’s silly story.

Bokuto would collect all those little things. He would take moments and memories like these ones in his hands, put them in a box, and store them away. And he would appreciate those memories for what they were: consolation prizes of something that he would not pursue.

Because pursuing it would mean he might lose, and losing Akaashi was the one thing he could not do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Next week’s chapter will have a trigger warning because there is a scene in the chapter that revolves around food. Nutrition will also be very briefly mentioned. It has nothing to do with eating disorders, neither one of the characters involved has an ED. But I want you guys to be aware, just in case this is a difficult topic for you.
> 
> Having said all that, the chapter will be lighthearted and fluffy, with a small amount of romantic angst.


	6. Privilege

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late update!
> 
> This is my longest chapter yet (well, in this fic anyway). The chapter was technically complete yesterday, but it just didn’t feel right. I don’t know. I was unhappy with it, so I decided to continue editing for one more day. Please, please, please - if you find any errors let me know!
> 
> This chapter was originally part of Ch 5, but it got too long. So I separated them and added more fluff.
> 
> IMPORTANT - Possible Trigger:  
> A section in this chapter contains descriptions about food, weight/physique, and nutrition.  
> Neither one of the characters has an eating disorder (or anything similar), but the dialogue may still be triggering.  
> If you want to skip those parts:  
> Stop reading at: “I promise I’m not as bad as I used to be!”  
> Start reading at: Akaashi lifted his head briefly and watched as Bokuto poured ice cubes into his blue ice pack

Bokuto’s apartment was located in a fairly unassuming neighbourhood in the suburbs of Tokyo. It was a very plain-looking studio apartment consisting of a tiny kitchen, a bathroom, a couple of closets, and an open-concept living space. He had originally picked this apartment in order to be close to his old neighbourhood - his father had not been retired yet, and Bokuto could go visit him with ease if either of them ever got lonely.

Akaashi thought it was kind of sweet.

Bokuto had never moved out of that apartment, even after his father had retired and sold the house two years ago.

The train ride from the university dorms to the station near Bokuto’s apartment was a little long, but at least it was quiet during the early afternoon. Despite how long the commute was and how cramped Bokuto’s apartment felt, Akaashi didn’t mind visiting every now and then. Akaashi’s parents lived nearby, and Fukurodani Academy was just a few blocks away as well. It was always a little nostalgic to walk around the neighbourhood, in a good way.

Familiar and simple.

Sometimes Akaashi wondered if Bokuto stayed because of the same reason - he was prone to wistfulness, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

When Akaashi finally arrived at Bokuto’s apartment building, one of the other residents recognized him and let him in. Akaashi took the elevator to the fifth floor, walked down the hallway, and knocked on Bokuto’s door.

It took a little longer than usual for Bokuto to answer. “Hey, ‘Kaashi,” he greeted half-heartedly, hobbling aside to let Akaashi into the apartment.

“Hello, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi stepped in, bag on his shoulder.

Bokuto was a surprisingly tidy person, and had chosen to use his apartment’s conservative space wisely. There was a grey sleeper sofa in a corner by the window, a two-person dining table on another corner, a small coffee table with a pair of pillows stacked on top of it, and a small television across the sofa. Simple and practical.

“Thanks for offering to come over,” Bokuto watched Akaashi remove his shoes by the entrance, “I appreciate the company.”

“No problem,” Akaashi replied, then followed Bokuto further into the apartment. “How are you?”

“I’m…” Bokuto thought about his answer for a second, “awful, to be honest. How are you?”

Akaashi dropped his backpack on the floor next to Bokuto’s sleeper sofa, which was currently arranged to look like a couch. “I’m well. How’s your ankle?”

“It’s still pretty swollen,” Bokuto replied, plopping himself down on the sofa. He lifted his left foot, wrapped in a black brace, on top of the pillows that had been piled up on the coffee table. “Sorry - don’t mean to be rude,” he said self-consciously, “doc says I gotta keep it elevated.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Akaashi said, picking up a blue, reusable ice bag that was sitting on the floor by the coffee table. Most of the ice had melted and had become cold water by now. Akaashi placed it gently on top of Bokuto’s foot regardless.

“Ah, thanks,” Bokuto said, forcing a smile. “I was about to grab that.”

Akaashi glanced back at him, trying hard to appear nonchalant. Usually, Akaashi would know what to do to cheer Bokuto up, but the situation was different this time. This was Bokuto’s career, afterall, not just a high school game.

“I’m sorry about the injury, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi said simply, taking a seat next to Bokuto.

Bokuto had sprained his ankle yesterday afternoon during practice. He’d been understandably upset, this being the middle of the volleyball season, and had called Akaashi that same night to vent. At the time, Bokuto’s emotional state had been all over the place - mainly jumping sporadically between frustration, annoyance, and disappointment.

Today, Bokuto seemed tired, like he had reluctantly accepted the situation.

“You’ll recover in no time,” Akaashi added, wiggling his hands underneath his thighs to stop himself from fiddling with them.

“Thanks,” Bokuto offered a brief, half-hearted smile. He glanced at his ankle with anxious disappointment and bit his lip. “Sorry, I just...it will be ages before I can play volleyball again, and it’s...not easy.”

“Four weeks will fly by,” Akaashi offered, “it’s not that long.”

“...It’s not only that,” Bokuto glanced at Akaashi with helpless, defeated eyes, “we have a game in Osaka tomorrow. I have to stay behind and meet with our physiotherapist. It’s… it’s an important game, ‘Kaashi.”

“Everyone gets injured sooner or later, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi offered, expression softening gently. “You are not the first athlete that has to stay behind to recover from an injury.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Bokuto’s expression lifted somewhat. He clicked his tongue and bit his lip, “but what if they lose the game tonight?”

“Bokuto-san, you have to trust your teammates and your coach. They’re professionals too.” Akaashi gazed at him, one eyebrow raised. “Honestly, all that fame must have gotten to your head if you think the team will only win because of you.”

Bokuto gasped, “Akashi, that’s so mean!”

Akaashi chuckled, “all I am saying is - I think your teammates would be really angry at you if they lost this game and you told them it was because you weren’t there.”

Bokuto thought about it for a few seconds, gaze fixed on the scenery visible through the window by the sofa. “Have I ever told you that you give good advice, ‘Kaashi?”

Akaashi shrugged, feeling satisfied with himself but trying not to show it. “Not nearly as often as you should, I think.”

“In that case...” Bokuto glanced back at Akaashi, his expression a mixture of wonder and melancholy, “I want you to know that I am really happy you’re in my life.”

Akaashi’s expression froze in surprise.

Akaashi had always thought of himself as a rather normal person, especially compared to the people that surrounded Bokuto. He wasn’t athletic like Miya, or charming like Kuroo, or perceptive like Kenma. He had no ‘starpower,’ no fascinating personality, no interesting quirks, no innate charisma.

He was just Akaashi Keiji - normal, plain, and simple. And this was fine by him - he liked his life and liked himself well enough.

But...to hear someone as talented and incredible as Bokuto say that he appreciated him and that he wanted him in his life… To hear he wouldn’t be forgotten, or replaced, or set aside...

Bokuto probably did not know how much words like those meant to Akaashi.

Akaashi felt his face flush.

He secretly wondered when he had become so sappy.

“I, ah…” Akaashi cleared his throat and felt his fingers shift under his legs. “I’m happy you’re in my life too, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto chuckled nervously, a small blush on his face. He ran a hand through his hair and glanced around the room. “Uh...let’s change the conversation topic,” he said suddenly, voice a little strained, “ah - are those glasses new?”

“Yes, I am a little blinder than I thought, so I had to get a new pair a couple of days ago,” Akaashi removed his glasses and handed them to Bokuto. “I’m surprised you noticed, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto scoffed, fiddling gently with the black frame. “What! I  _ always _ notice when you change your glasses! In highschool you wore those blue ones, remember? Then you switched to the ones that looked like they had no frame - those ones were pretty cool, but you thought you looked nerdy, so you started wearing the blue ones again. Then you got ones with a thin gold frame, and now you have these ones, which I think are the nicest ones - they really suit… your… face. Uhm.” Bokuto caught himself and stopped talking once he noticed Akaashi’s surprised expression. “...was that weird?”

“No, no,” Akaashi laughed. “Sorry, sometimes… You’ve always been so perceptive, Bokuto-san.”

“Well - I just - I pay attention!” Bokuto replied, a little louder than necessary, “Anyway, these are nice! I like them better than your old ones!” He handed the glasses back to Akaashi.

“I’m glad you like them - these are my favourite ones so far as well.” Akaashi wiped the lens and put his glasses back on.

“Hey, uh…” Bokuto fiddled with the hem of his shirt shyly. “...sorry for being so grumpy earlier. I really appreciate you coming over.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi replied, feeling a little lighter and more content now that Bokuto had seemingly snapped out of his gloomy mood. “I wasn’t going to let you mope around. I know how you get.”

“I promise I’m not as bad as I used to be!” Bokuto replied with a chuckle. “Oh hey! Have you had anything to eat yet?”

Akaashi hummed. “I had coffee in the morning.”

“ _ Only _ coffee?” Bokuto watched him with a worried frown.

“With milk.” He added, as if it would make a difference.

“Akashi! That’s it?” Bokuto continued to frown at him. “That’s all you’ve had today?”

“Yeah. I forgot to grab lunch.” Akaashi replied, glancing at his school bag. “I was concentrating on finishing an assignment. Next thing I knew it was time to come here.”

“Are you hungry? I haven’t had lunch yet - let’s make something to eat!” Bokuto pulled his leg off of the pillows, knocking the room-temperature ice pack onto the floor unceremoniously. He jumped up from the sofa and walked towards the kitchen, stretching his arms along the way.

“You should be resting, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi picked up the ice pack and followed Bokuto towards the small kitchen. “I’d be happy to cook.”

“Nah, it’s alright,” Bokuto waved him off with an easy smile, “the doctor said I can move around as long as I am not pushing it.” He took the ice pack from Akaashi’s hands and emptied its fully-melted contents into the sink, then set it aside. “Besides, it’s easier if I cook since I have to measure everything.”

“Oh, right, you’re counting calories.” Akaashi hovered by the entrance to the small kitchen. “At least let me help you out. I’d feel terrible if you did all the work.”

“Uh, you sure?” Bokuto shifted a little on his spot, seemingly uncomfortable. “You’ve got schoolwork to do, right? I can cook while you do that if you’d like.”

“I’ll worry about that later.” Akaashi said, simple and straightforward. “I would like to help you cook.”

Bokuto’s eyes alternated between Akaashi and the ceiling. “...Uh...”

Why was Bokuto being so hesitant?

Akaashi hummed. He had taken a shower. He was wearing clean clothes. He wasn’t wearing cologne or anything like that today. The only thing that came to mind was that he’d recently changed shampoo brands.

“Does my shampoo smell too strong?”

“No, what? Not at all - you smell great - I mean, clean! I mean, it’s umm, it’s a nice shampoo scent.” Bokuto coughed lightly and looked away, his cheeks dusted with pink.

Akaashi rested his shoulder against the entrance to the kitchen, trying to hide the awkward feeling in the pit of his stomach. “What’s the matter, then?”

“It’s just - the kitchen’s so tiny, we’ll be really cramped and… ah, nevermind,” Bokuto finally acquiesced, although it was with palpable reluctance. “We’ll figure it out.”

“...Okay, then,” Akaashi stepped into the kitchen, closer to Bokuto. The kitchen was certainly small, but two people could squeeze in and cook comfortably together. Akaashi had spent many moments stuck on a bus or a train next to Bokuto in high school - the compact space didn’t bother him. “What are we making?”

“Uh, I think it’s fish and miso soup today,” Bokuto turned around and pulled out a binder from one of the kitchen drawers. He placed it on the counter, flicked through the recipes, and eventually stopped at a specific page. “Yep, miso soup, cod, a bunch of rice, edamame beans, half a protein bar, and some fruit.”

“All that just for lunch?” Akaashi raised his eyebrows. “I guess that explains why you’ve gotten so muscular.”

“Hah, yeah...” Bokuto blushed and shifted awkwardly on his spot. “Uh...athlete’s diet and all that.”

“...Are you alright?” Akaashi raised an eyebrow at Bokuto questioningly.

“Yeah - no, I am fine!” Bokuto replied, blush still very visible.

Akaashi watched him suspiciously. It was odd for Bokuto to act so self-conscious about his appearance. He loved getting compliments from fans and magazines, and he certainly had the physique of a professional athlete.

“You’re in great shape, Bokuto-san. You look good.” Akaashi said, a little too eagerly. “If anything, I’d say you’re packing a little more muscle than most volleyball players.”

Bokuto’s eyes opened wide, his face turned a deeper shade of red. “I, uh - thanks!” he squeaked, voice cracking a little.

Had Akaashi said something rude? Ah, maybe he had - muscles were heavy, and volleyball was all about endurance, speed, and jumping height, so players were discouraged from getting too bulky. Maybe Bokuto felt self-conscious about having gotten  _ too _ muscular...

No, no - that felt like a reach. Akaashi knew Bokuto well enough to be able to tell when he was miffed or felt hurt.

What was confusing him right now was the way Bokuto was acting - awkward and nervous… and bashful? Akaashi bit his lip. He hated to admit it, but even after all these years, he wasn’t entirely sure how Bokuto’s brain worked. And currently, Akaashi felt like there was  _ something _ he was not accounting for - something important.

“I... didn’t mean to imply anything about your career by that comment,” Akaashi finally said, trying not to show how embarrassed he felt. “You’re an excellent player, Bokuto-san. I apologize if what I said came off rudely.”

“No, ah, I…” Bokuto cleared his throat and looked around the kitchen, avoiding eye-contact with Akaashi, “I know you didn’t mean anything by that, ‘Kaashi. And I meant it when I said thank you - for the compliment.”

Akaashi was left entirely dissatisfied with that answer, but before he could ask if anything else was the matter, Bokuto turned around and focused his attention on finding a cutting board and a paring knife.

So Akaashi did not press further.

Instead, he let it go and turned towards the binder sitting on the counter. He flicked through the pages, raising his eyebrows at the variety of recipes in it. “This is so detailed,” he said, surprised, “was this all you?”

“Hmm? - Oh no, not at all,” Bokuto replied with a laugh, setting the cutting board and the knife on the counter. “I got it from my sports nutritionist - isn’t it cool? Look,” he flicked through the binder excitedly, “it’s colour-coded! Every day I am supposed to eat one recipe from each colour, then double-check that it fits my macros. It’s all personalized - and it’s even got pictures, and a calendar!” He seemed more relaxed now that the attention wasn’t on him.

Akaashi smiled softly at him. “That’s impressive.” He gently took the binder and turned to the page that had instructions for today’s lunch. “Do you actually measure everything? Grams and all?”

“Yep!” Bokuto opened a cupboard and pulled out a digital scale, then placed it on the counter next to the binder. “I follow it very strictly during the volleyball season. I’m a lot more relaxed about it during our holiday breaks though.” He glanced at Akaashi timidly, gaze soft and warm, “...I guess since I’m injured, I can allow myself to indulge a little today too.”

Akaashi held Bokuto’s gaze for a little longer than he had meant to. There it was again - that  _ something _ , hidden in those amber eyes - hidden in plain sight. Important and familiar, but also indescribable.

Akaashi hid his hands behind his back and rubbed his fingers together, engaging in his nervous habit discreetly. “...What - you mean you’re going to eat a whole protein bar instead of only half?” He asked, trying to break the tension.

Bokuto’s expression shifted to one of comical disgust, “no, gross,” he stuck his tongue out, “protein bars taste like flavoured sawdust.”

Akaashi chuckled, relaxing a little. “What are you going to be indulging in today, then?” 

Bokuto blushed lightly again. He ran a hand through his hair and glanced away bashfully, “ah, nevermind that - I was just thinking out loud.”

“...Alright, then.” Akaashi forced himself to stop fiddling with his hands and turned his attention towards the binder again, attempting to seem casually nonchalant. He looked at the scale, then frowned lightly. “Won’t it mess with your diet if we cook together though?”

“It’ll be fine,” Bokuto replied with a smile and a shrug, “I already got it figured out.”

“Okay,” Akaashi nodded and pulled the sleeves of his dark blue sweater up to his elbows. “So what do you want to start with?”

Bokuto glanced at the recipe for a few seconds, humming. “Let’s prep the veggies.”

Bokuto opened the fridge and pulled out a variety of different vegetables. He handed them to Akaashi, who washed his hands and began rinsing the veggies in the sink.

“Hey, Akashi,” Bokuto pulled out his phone and glanced at Akaashi, “is it okay if I put on some music? It’s so quiet here.”

“Go ahead,” Akaashi replied, focusing on cleaning the variety of vegetables in the sink. “Do we weigh these right now?”

“Uh, wait until after chopping them,” Bokuto replied, finally settling for a playlist. The volume was really low, but Akaashi could make out lots of acoustic guitars and smooth voices.

He glanced at the recipe on Bokuto’s binder again. “You’re missing the carrots.”

“You don’t like carrots,” Bokuto said casually, placing his phone on the corner of the counter.

“I don’t, but I still eat them.” Akaashi replied, pulling out a couple of carrots from the fridge and handing them to Bokuto. “They’re healthy, and your recipe calls for them.”

Bokuto shrugged and took the veggies, “fair enough, we’ll add them to the broth if you’re sure you don’t mind.” He washed his hands and rinsed the carrots, rubbing the dirt off the surface.

Akaashi watched him for a second. “...I don’t mind,” he eventually said, focusing on chopping up the other vegetables.

Akaashi was surprised that Bokuto remembered he did not like carrots - he didn’t bring it up very often, and he never picked carrots out if they came in a meal. Although then again, Bokuto had always been more perceptive than Akaashi gave him credit for.

They ended up doubling the recipe - Bokuto said it would be easier for him to keep track of what he was eating if they did it that way. And sure enough, it was easy to separate everything in half once they were ready to eat.

Lunch was pleasant. Bokuto ate his entire portion with zero issues, although he skipped out on the protein bar.

Akaashi promised not to tell.

“Thank you for the meal, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi said, folding his napkin politely after finishing the last bite of his food. “You’re a good cook.”

“Mom taught me well!” Bokuto grinned proudly. “This was super easy to make, though. I’ll have you over after the season ends and make something more complicated for you.”

Akaashi smiled. “I’m looking forward to it.” He picked up the empty plates and took them to the kitchen. Bokuto followed shortly after, carrying the placemats and the glassware along.

“Are you sure you’re full?” Bokuto asked, looking through the kitchen cupboards for a container to put the leftovers into. “There’s still plenty of food if you’re still hungry.”

“I don’t think I could take another bite.” Akaashi said, focusing on washing the dirty plates.

“Alright, if you insist.” Bokuto put all the leftovers into some kind of fancy, layered, no-spill soup thermos - the type of contraption avid lunch fans owned. “These are yours, okay?”

Akaashi glanced at Bokuto and shook his head, “I can’t possibly take all that food home.” He grabbed the pan and the pot they had used to cook and submerged them in the sink. “Save it for tomorrow, Bokuto-san.”

“Oh, but I can’t!” Bokuto hobbled behind Akaashi and placed the fancy thermos in the fridge. “I don’t know what the nutritional value of this is.”

“You can easily measure the rice, the fruit, and the edamame beans.” Akaashi said as he rubbed the frying pan with his fingers, gently removing the residue from the fish.

“But then my plan to make sure you have something to eat tomorrow wouldn’t have worked,” Bokuto replied with a bright grin. “This way, you can focus on school and heat this up whenever you get hungry. Easy peasy.”

Akaashi lifted his head briefly and watched as Bokuto poured ice cubes into his blue ice pack, a satisfied look on his face. Akaashi snorted quietly, shook his head, and smiled, focused on rinsing the soap off of the last of the dirty dishes.

“...Fair enough, Bokuto-san,” he said, wiping his hands on the towel by the sink.

Typical Bokuto, worrying about Akaashi when he was supposed to be worrying about himself.

When they were both done, they walked out of the kitchen and into the living space. Bokuto hobbled over to his sofa and sat down, lifting his left leg onto the pile of pillows on the coffee table.

“Oh!” Bokuto snapped his fingers and jumped a little on his spot, startling Akaashi “I don’t know if I told you, but I’m looking into moving to a new place!”

“That’s great,” Akaashi said, taking a seat on the other end of the couch. He was glad that Bokuto seemed to be in higher spirits despite the injury, “you must be excited.”

“I am!” Bokuto nodded happily. He placed the bag of ice on his ankle, then sank down on the couch. “This place is a bit too cramped for me - I can’t wait to have a bedroom and a bed!”

“A bed would be nice,” Akaashi patted the sofa, a teasing grin on his face, “it must be tough to have to deal with this when you have girls over.”

Bokuto stiffened slightly, “hah, yeah, the sofa-bed’s a real mood-killer…” He removed the ice pack from his ankle and fiddled with the fabric, avoiding eye-contact. “It’s not like this apartment’s the most romantic place in Tokyo in the first place anyway,” he laughed nervously.

Akaashi glanced around the room and hummed. “It’s not too bad - I’ve certainly banged in worse places.”

“Akaaaaashi!” Bokuto sat up straighter and gasped, dropping the ice pack onto the sofa. “Ha-have you…?!”

“Had sex?” Akaashi removed his glasses and wiped them on his shirt, a confused frown on his face. “Yes, of course I have.”

“- with a dude?!”

Akaashi raised both eyebrows and lifted his head to make eye-contact with Bokuto - he seemed wholly and honestly shocked, even though it really wasn’t news. “...Yes, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi placed his glasses back on. “Sexually active gay men have gay sex.”

Bokuto nodded a little too vehemently, expression flustered, “no - yeah, of course you have - with someone - with a guy. Which makes sense because you’re gay, so obviously that’s what you’re into - I mean, like, I’ve never - I haven’t - but I’m sure it was nice to do - to be with - to do that! With a man!”

Akaashi blinked a few times, trying to process whatever Bokuto was saying. He was not really ashamed or shy about his sexuality, but Bokuto’s flustered reaction was a little...contagious. He felt his face flush lightly as Bokuto continued to ramble.

Though really, Akaashi didn’t get why Bokuto was so nervous - surely he and Kuroo talked about these kinds of things all the time.

Unless…

Hum...

“...it’s okay if you have not had sex yet, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said, suddenly, “it’s not a race.”

Bokuto sputtered. “A-Akashi! I’ve had sex!”

“Okay,” Akaashi nodded slowly. Maybe he’d overstepped a boundary somehow...? “I apologize if I made you flustered - I realize it can be uncomfortable to talk about gay sex.”

“I’m not uncomfortable with gay sex!” Bokuto replied, voice cracking a little bit.

Akaashi felt a little wave of relief wash over him.

...But he couldn’t resist teasing Bokuto when he was being so bashful.

“Are you sure?” He leaned forward and cocked his head to the side, a curious smile spreading on his lips, “you’re being awfully demure for someone who isn’t uncomfortable, Bokuto-san.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Bokuto repeated. He coughed quietly and glanced away, eyes wide and flustered. “I just - I guess I’ve just never thought about it before?”

“Really now?” Akaashi raised an eyebrow, still smiling. “Kuroo-san never talks about it?”

“He’s surprisingly modest,” Bokuto placed the bag of ice on his ankle again, gently, almost timidly, “y’know, the whole ‘don’t kiss and tell’ thing.”

“Ah, I see,” Akaashi nodded, his facial expression returning to a content neutral. “You know, Bokuto-san, if you’re really curious…”

Bokuto’s head snapped towards Akaashi.

“There’s plenty of online resources - ”

He shoved Akaashi’s shoulder, then laughed. “‘Kaashi! I’m not gonna watch gay porn!”

Akaashi laughed, placing a hand forward to regain his balance.

Akaashi had not been able to hang out with Bokuto very much in the past couple of months. Lately, he’d mainly seen Bokuto in the context of his job as a professional athlete - in games, magazines, the occasional commercial, interviews… and it was nice, sure. It was nice to see the same confident, cheerful, funny Bokuto that everyone else got to see - because that was the real Bokuto. He was genuine, and happy, and earnest.

But no one else got to see flustered, bashful, nervous Bokuto. No one heard him ramble about eyewear, or gay sex, or animal facts. No one other than a handful of people - Akaashi included.

It made moments like this one even more special. So sue him for wanting to tease and prod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who skipped the part, you essentially just missed some nervous stuttering and clueless Akaashi.
> 
> Also, just a PSA for y’all to be aware that there’s a difference between a nutritionist and a dietitian. In Canada (where I am), you want to find a registered dietitian, not a nutritionist. I think it’s different in the States. This is what I found for Japan (https://www.dietitian.or.jp/english/ specifically point no. 4) - so I went with the label “sports nutritionist.”


End file.
